Register Remember Password. One of ten adventures in The Bane Chronicles. There are good reasons Peru is off-limits to Magnus Bane. This standalone e-only short story illuminates the life of the enigmatic Magnus Bane, whose alluring personality populates the pages of the 1 New York Times bestselling series, The Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices series.
Bookmark This Page. I want to know her better. Well now, there is no point in immortality, unless you have someone to share it with, that's it. Poor Magnus, really. View all 7 comments. Apr 26, Andre rated it did not like it Shelves: fantasy , not-really-worth-reading , bisexual. Have you ever been curious why Magnus is banned from Peru? Why all those warlocks decided he was not welcome anymore? Where you burning with that question what could be so horrible to receive such a punishment?
Well good for you because this book doesn't answer that question anyway. Well the last time I encountered such a lie was in Have you ever been curious why Magnus is banned from Peru?
Actually this book is somewhat similar. But more to that later, let's look at what the synopsis promised: A fucking lie. Sure it starts out with teasing you that it will answer the question, but it never does. It was not just because the posters with a picture of him that were passed around Downworld in Peru were so wildly unflattering.
It was because Peru was one of his favorite places. He had had many adventures there, and had many wonderful memories, starting with the time in when he had invited Ragnor Fell to join him for a festive sightseeing escape in Lima.
To this day, whatever it is that actually got him banned from Peru is—and perhaps must always remain—a mystery. See what I mean? And if you think that I spoiled it for you now, don't worry either, because neither start nor end have anything to do with the rest of the book.
I mentioned that it is similar somewhat to Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Guide and this is why: We don't really learn much about Magnus that we didn't know already. It is basically the same stuff that was already said in her previous books. In most cases Magnus also acts the same and we don't really get to know any new people and these two warlocks serve to point anyway despite Ragnro being Magnus's opposite and Catarina kissing Magnus's ass.
And where are all the warlocks of Peru anyway? We never meet any warlock we didn't know from the Mortal Instruments already. And that is the problem: we only meet the additional warlocks Ragnor Fell and Catarina Loss. Not only are their names as stupid as that of Magnus, but we also either knew them or knew of them from the Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices.
Why not some new warlocks? If that is the character Clare had in mind when she decided to pair him with Alec in Mortal Instruments no wonder she did it, in this book he seems like Jace 2. His attitude, his behavior, that all reminds me of Jace and Will.
It seems like the same character, again. He is just as annoying, arrogant, selfish, shallow and fickle, not to mention to be completely incapable of seeing his own flaws. Also he seems very grafted and not developed.
If the authors wanted to make him sympathetic, they failed, they failed miserably. I never really liked Magnus in the other books because I thought he acted like a child and here it is even more so. I can't say too much now, I will leave that for the spoiler section, but I can say this: While reading this I just too often thought "What an asshole.
The funny thing is that some parts of the book I actually had to laugh at. It was in many ways written like a parody or a general sitcom or comedy. And as funny as it was, that is the problem. It is supposed to be a book that gives you insight into an actual character.
A character that is not from any comedic genre and thereby it fails in itself. This Magnus, and many of the other characters, are usually not real people.
They are caricatures and nothing more. Several times the thought "what did they smoke" crossed my mind. The characters don't really develop, a lot makes no sense or has no relevance, there is weird language and weird characters, with Magnus being the worst, and no real sense behind it all.
We don't really get to know anything about Magnus we hadn't known before. It is overall a very useless book, except as an example on how not to write and how gullible and crazy fans are who likes this. If you want to read it, get a copy from a library or lend it from a friend, but don't waste money on this, it is not worth it. Much of what they write doesn't make sense and too often I asked myself whether they even can write and how much research of the respective time periods did they even make.
A lot of the book was just cheap attempts at reader manipulation in my eyes and it was so obvious, that was the worst. There is one thing I just noticed: For someone who supposedly made such a big deal to have Magnus played by Godfrey Gao in the upcoming movie and have Jem be portrayed by an Asian model on the cover of Clockwork prince albeit they didn't get his hair or eyes right it is surely weird that for this cover she didn't seem to have bothered to get it across.
Sure it is obvious that the character is neither African nor Australian but still, what is he? I think this is intentional and stinks of the practice of not wanting to show Non-White models on the cover. Ok, I will leave the rest for the spoiler and stop here or otherwise I will spoil it for everybody.
Ok, now to the main part of my review, I guess it is more than the book is worth but seeing all the praise here for such a bad book I could not do any different but take notes while reading this, and I actually don't want to. Someone has to say it. This must have been the worst review I ever made; because the book is just… how can you do so much wrong in so little time? How is that possible? So this version here is actually the version suitable for children.
Well, see for yourselves if you dare, but be warned out there will be spoilers and possibly strong language, depending on your age group : view spoiler [ This thing had so many things gone wrong in so little time that I decided to categorize it. So again be warned, if you loved Magnus in the other books, for whatever reason, you might be disappointed and possibly enraged by this.
Ok here we go! Obvious and stupid manipulation Like I said the book's attempts at manipulation are very cheap and obvious and numerous, but there is a character limit here. It already stated with the preface when it states that it was such a sad moment for Magnus when he was banned from Peru… You know it always seemed to me in the Mortal Instruments that this particular piece of information was rather there for laughs, so why it is now used for something supposedly sad is kind of beyond me.
You would think that Magnus's background provides for more but apparently not. I guess his childhood was not interesting enough for something called "The Bane Chronicles". The authors do it later as well by coming with the whole stuff with his mother and father, but here is another problem: we already knew that The same with him not speaking his native tongue often, because it reminded him of his oh so bad childhood, not that we are ever told how that childhood was.
The book tries to sell it that he was heartbroken after one of his flings Imasu dumped him and he got all deep about maybe warlocks becoming to detached from humanity to be lovable and all. Maybe I would by it if he would act according to supposedly being heartbroken. Totally useless in my eyes since the whole book it's pretty obvious that other people are there for Magnus's amusement. Too much acceptance There are several cases where normal people were simply far to accepting about the weird and unusual around them.
Despite not being glamoured Ragnor's deep green skin was simply accepted and later Magnus's gay relationship with Imasu seems to be way too much accepted considered the time and area. I mean wasn't Peru mostly catholic at that time?
During a dance with some unknown girl he uses magic to literally set the girl's skirts and his own coat on fire so that both become actually spinning towers of flame and the girl he danced with had thought it was some marvelous trick. She had been enveloped in real, bright fire and she had tipped back her head and laughed What??? Were these writers on pot or something? What did they take that they think anybody, especially from that time s from Peru would react that way?
Why would Ragnor's parents at first thinking he was a faerie child be any help in those days? There were stories a plenty in Europe about stolen and replaced babies, so why should the parents not have thought that Ragnor was not their child? By the way, of course Magnus looked like a normal baby at first, only later did his cat eyes develop. Wow, how convenient for him.
The romantic interest is the pretty one, wow, so typically Clare. They call that good writing? The demonic languages they name are Purgatic and Gehennic and Tartarian … Apparently they cannot come up with something more original than the languages based on purgatory, gehenna and tartarus.
And speaking of unoriginal: a jaguar demon? They could not come up with a concept, or at least a better term, than jaguar demon? Do they even try? Speaking of bad terms and concepts: only some warlock children died young because their parent abandoned or killed what they saw as unnatural creatures?
Just some???? You think your child is demonspawn, something feared all your life and leads to all sort of cases of hysteria and only some children got abandoned or killed? They wrote The monkey advanced, chewing in a menacing fashion. How do you do that?
How is it possible to chew in a menacing fashion? How does that look? Did he have a menacing facial expression and chewed or what? And it doesn't stop there: He heard it in hot pursuit and fled faster … If that was the case why was the monkey suddenly gone when Magnus bumped into Ragnor during the flight? And why did he flee anyway, he was ready to fight a jaguar demon but would not fight a monkey? Ragnor himself reminded Magnus that he can do magic and all Magnus said was: I am not going to ensorcel a monkey!
Honestly, Ragnor. What do you take me for? Why not? He has no problem ensorcelling humans, so why not a monkey? He could have made it temporarily dizzy or hang in the air, nothing that would harm the monkey but give Magnus time to escape. So why not? Or does magic suddenly have bad side effects for non-warlocks which we never were told about? We are told that Spanish was the first language Magnus learned to speak after his native language. And what is his native language? We are never told, again.
Later we are told about the Dutch and Batavian blood in his veins. So does that mean he is from Jakarta? Since Batavia was Jakarta's name during the Dutch colonial empire. So what is Magnus's native language?
Is it Malay? Was Magnus supposed to be serious when he referred to guano as bird droppings? Was that another example of his "humor" or of the author's incompetence? Actually guano is the feces and urine of seabirds, cave-dwelling bats, and seals.
And here is the other problem: later in the book Magnus and Ragnus supposedly are deep in stinking guano. And here is the problem: For that guano would have to be liquid. But guano was sometimes literally mined.
And that is not a word you use for liquids, no way. So guano was dry actually the ideal type of guano is found in exceptionally dry climates so apparently you cannot sink in , it was collected. What tantrum, where did that come from? In the sentence before that Ragnor only said that he wanted to go home, while stuck deep in guano. So where did it come from? Did Ragnor suddenly have a tantrum? Did Magnus? What happened? They never explained that. What is a swift economical gesture?
Does that mean his hand barely moved? What does that mean? And I never before read or heard the something like Imasu's mouth curled beneath Magnus's.
And there is more: Geoffrey had the nose of a man who never shut up??? What kind of sentence is that? Is that even a legitimate sentence? How many even know that this word exists? Also to say that Magnus was still growing back then you would not have needed that word. Magnus can create an earthquake on accident? Then why were his talents so underused in the other books?
And not only that, in this book it is stated He could make music flow from the air or the river or the curtains if he so chose. Again, if he can do all that, then why was it not used more in the other books? Apart from the fact that he would have to play extremely loud for his melody to be carried out over the lake water, we are also not told what melody it is; fast or slow, stakkato or what?
The book mentions how Ragnor's and Catarina's skin forced them to live a life of solitude, before they were able to make glamours to hide themselves, and apparently Magnus did not have to. Ok, sure blue and green skin is a bit more obvious than cat eyes, but still, they are cat eyes. There is no way that you would mistake them for human eyes, especially when they are described as gold-green, slit-pupilled.
Apart from the fact that the authors reveal their ignorance regarding cat eyes and how they function the pupils are only slits in direct bright light such eyes are pretty obvious, so before glamour or sunglasses came into his live Magnus would have only been able to watch things from afar, never really participating in anything, but apparently the authors do not consider that.
The stuff with Magnus' "music" was actually extremely funny, but that is also the problem here. You see the book is neither a sitcom, nor a parody or any other sort of comedy. I had to laugh out loud at this, I couldn't help myself.
Actually the whole book would be good for a comedy. But it's not and that is the problem. It is supposed to be taken seriously and in a realistic setting. But you do not write stuff like that in a serious book when you want to have the readers sympathetic to a character or inform them about character background and live stories.
You do that in parodies. In real life people acting like Magnus are… What the heck, just look at point 5 of this review than you will know what I mean. Magnus Bane himself And of course there is the biggest problem with the book is Magnus himself. I have no idea why people love this guy even after all that. Like followers of my reviews know I was never much of a fan of Magnus, but that was mostly because he acted like a spoiled teen, but this book made him really unlikeable to me.
His whole character is so incredibly flawed and seems to have no actual redeeming qualities. He constantly moans about it when people say hurtful comments about him, but based on how he acts their stance is totally justified. And who is Magnus to judge? I will definitely recommend this book to fantasy, young adult lovers.
Your Rating:. Your Comment:. Read Online Download. Great book, What Really Happened in Peru pdf is enough to raise the goose bumps alone. Add a review Your Rating: Your Comment:. Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare.
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